By now, you’ve probably given in to the sheer torment of not knowing who everyone on your Zoom calls is talking about and binge-watched Netflix’s Tiger King.
©Netflix’s Series Tiger King
AND IF you’ve succumbed to peer-pressure and subjected yourself to this seven-episode docu-series (we’re impressed you were able to get through the first 15 minutes!), you’re probably still feeling a little loopy from the absurdity of everything you’ve just seen! We’re talkin’ tigers, lost appendages, missing husbands, and a lot of questionable judgment and fashion statements! While everyone may have their own opinion about the show, it definitely caught everyone’s attention for how bizarre and memorable it is.
At least, we know we’re still reeling a bit from the show which is why we’ve decided to cast each Tiger King star as a Disney World theme park ride.
Carole Baskin’s Late Husband
C’mon… you didn’t think we were going to lead off with Joe Exotic??? We’re saving him for the END! But we think Carole Baskin’s late husband who mysteriously vanished without a trace would best be played by Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride — especially because it too has disappeared from Disney World! We wonder if it had anything to do with being covered in sardine oil?
©Netflix Carole’s Late Husband Don Lewis from Tiger King
Carole Baskin
As for tigress Carole herself (who we find to be NEITHER a cool cat or kitten), she reminds us of The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. At first, she seems sweet, but the deeper in you go, things start to go all CRAY with heffalumps and woozles and INSANITY! Plus, Winnie the Pooh was the reason that Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride had to “disappear” from the parks, so we’ll leave it to you to draw your own conclusions there, (see above)! 😉
©Netflix Carole Baskin from Tiger King
Jeff Lowe
Jeff Lowe doesn’t bust onto the scene until much later in the show, but this Affliction t-shirt wearing bad boy in a bandana is putting off some major rocker vibes! We think Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith would be his jam — no offense Steven Tyler! He’s just in a big hurry to take over the G.W. Park and he certainly takes Joe Exotic for one wild ride!
©Netflix Jeff Lowe from Tiger King
Joe Exotic
Which brings us to JOE! We’re a little conflicted when it comes to choosing an attraction that best represents Joe Exotic. While Jungle Cruise or the Enchanted Tiki Room seems a little too on the nose (and waaaay too innocent), we’re also not ones to pick the fruit of the lowest branch. We’d have to say Mission: SPACE is more Joe’s speed. And we’re talking about the old Orange Mission, BEFORE they tamed it down. This ride used to whip us around like ragdolls, and we always walked away from it feeling violently ill. See the correlation?
©Netflix Joe Exotic from Tiger King
Tiger King is probs one of the most cringe-worthy can’t-look-away shows we’ve seen in a while. And that’s why we’re found ourselves binge-watching! Did you binge the show too?! Which rides or even characters do you associate with the show? Let us know!
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Hilarious crossover!! I love it, got em all spot on. Although I think Joe would be perfect as the Jungle Cruise. Loves to be center of attention, and depending on the skipper, sometimes you leave violently ill also! 🤣
I think this very irresponsible to even bring up the “Tiger King” on your blog. That show is not at all what Disney is about. Tiger King is a grotesque documentary on animal abuse. Sorry you had to go there.
Terra
John Finley : People Mover
Doc Antle: Hall of President (once you’re in, you cant get out)
Omg! Why does everyone like this show so much? It is absolutely horrible.
I had to force myself to watch the first 2 episodes. I couldn’t even get through ep 2. I finally removed it from my Netflix que.
We’ve visited Big Cat Falls in Tampa last year. They do amazing work and have a great staff of volunteer animal caretakers. Their animals are treated with great care. This show is glorified trash. It seems as though the public only sees the human characters and not the inhumane treatment of big cats. This article is not amusing. maybe you should do an article or something that helps the trade of big cats and all animals, instead of being part of the problem.
I’m REALLY sorry that DFB stooped to the low-ness of that pathetic group of characters by even putting them on the same pages that our beloved Disney characters share. Those people are reprehensible in their treatment of animals. BIG MISTAKE DFB, big mistake.
I agree with BT. Big Cat Rescue is an amazing place. I have been there several times. The cats are loved and well cared for. And Carole does not deserve all this “hate”. Please do the research before you start dissing a place that is a haven for discarded and abused big cats.
The Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride thing is too funny!
YES, I binge watched it last night. The show is exactly as you described it, and your article is amusing.
I couldn’t even make it through episode 1. The sheer abuse of the animals along with the most abhorrent humans imaginable was too much to stomach.
This post was meant for fun and I’m not in anyway complaining about this post. I am, however, adding to the chorus of people who don’t understand the love for the show. It’s full of horrible people and animal abuse.
I’m from Oklahoma I felt was important to be aware of how Oklahomans were being portrayed and I have to say it’s a relatively accurate portrayal of rural, poor Oklahomans. Plus the show is like a multi-car crash on the highway. You know you shouldn’t look but you really can’t look away. However, I wouldn’t association any of these people with a Disney park.
#carolebaskinskilledherhusband
I don’t think people “love” the show. The director was attempting to bring to light some of these issues that everyone is complaining about. No one is a fan of abuse and mistreatment of animals. It’s the human element that is so bizarre that makes this a must watch.
For everyone shaming DFB for mentioning Tiger King….get over yourselves! It’s a freaking news letter meant to have fun. Stop taking everything so serious.
Keep doing what you’re doing DFB. I look forward to your emails.