Hey, so…we found something and we really gotta tell you about it.

Disney goers might recognize this picture of Michael Jackson as a still from the ICONIC Captain EO film that played in Disney theme parks in the ’80s and ’90s, with a few returns over the years. Have you ever asked yourself, “What if Captain EO was played by Eeyore instead of Michael Jackson?” No? Well…we’re gonna tell you anyway.

We were perusing a very niche part of Disney YouTube (We’re nerds here; you understand.), when we came across a video from RetroWDW called, “Captain Eeyore, 1987 — Restored.” Naturally, we had questions, and we’re sure you do too. Fair warning, none of them are going to be answered.

So, basically, this video is a parody of Captain EO that was made by Disneyland Cast Members back in the late 1980s. Not much else is known about its conception but it is a WILD RIDE. We’ll try to explain its majesty and ridiculousness, but you might want to give a watch for yourself first.

We know how you’re feeling right now. What did you just watch? Why was the bad guy a scary Mickey Mouse lady? And also, who knew Eeyore had such sweet moves? We felt the same way — but let’s walk through this masterpiece. Of course, it’s based on the great Captain EO film so we get the idea, “Eeyore” DOES sound like “EO.”

Just like Captain EO, this film is about a ragtag band of galactic travelers; except instead of lovable Jim Henson puppets, you’ll probably recognize some familiar faces. Instead of Hooter the weird elephant hybrid, we get POOHTER. Just like Hooter, Poohter is a lovable and mute character who tends to bumble around.

Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum are also there and they certainly get into some antics. It’s pretty surprising how many camera angles there are. How long did Cast Members spend on this!?

Tigger seems to hold the first mate role on the starship. Also, apparently being first mate means you get to wear a SUPER sweet silver suit. It’s also very ’80s.

Then, of course, we have Captain Eeyore — the head of the whole operation. Captain Eeyore is basically just Eeyore with a cool sash and, yep, Michael Jackson’s hair. New question: WHAT IS GOING ON?

Together, they make a ragtag band tasked with bringing a gift to the evil Supreme Leader, just like in Captain EO. We have to say, though, this group is a little bit more disorganized than the OGs.

Still, they make their way to the Supreme Leader and then we get to look at WHATEVER THE HECK THIS HORRIFYING CREATURE IS.

Is it Mickey Mouse? Is it Minnie Mouse? What’s on its head? Why is its face like that? We get the fingernails (clear Captain EO reference), but what’s with the clothes? Where did they find a hook to hang this Cast Member actress from? Oh, and WHAT’S GOING ON!? Well, naturally at this point, the Supreme Leader orders the Seven Dwarfs to attack Captain EO…

…who uses the power of music to turn them all into 1980s dancers. This part might be the least weird considering it’s pretty much exactly what happens in the original Captain EO. Then, a sweet dance number to “We Are Here to Change the World” ensues. And yes, Eeyore pelvic thrusts.

At this point, we lost the ability to process things from being so overstimulated, but we kept going for you, dear reader. Naturally, multiple Queens of Hearts come out to attack Captain Eeyore.

But it’s ok!!! Because Captain Eeyore uses the power of music to change them into…chimney sweeps? Maybe?

Finally, in a dramatic finale, Eeyore is able to transform the Supreme Leader into a much nicer form — Snow White. This is pretty similar to what happens in Captain EO, but we’re still reeling.

Anyway, we couldn’t watch that without showing it to you all so we certainly hope that you enjoyed it. We’re feeling a little overexcited and stressed out about the whole thing so we’re gonna go lay down. But PLEASE let us know what you think of Captain Eeyore in the comments. We need your thoughts.

Click here to learn more about one of the creators of Captain EO!

What do you think of Captain Eeyore? Tell us in the comments!