Listen, I don’t get embarrassed about many things.
We have to chat about a huge bathroom problem
If you want to talk about real life, personal, “taboo” stuff, I’m your gal. Yep, I’m totally open to chatting about TMI things that happen to you in the Disney World bathrooms. Like, it happens to all of us, so why shouldn’t we just laugh about it? You get the point. And today I need to talk about the elephant in every Disney World bathroom. Yessiree. The toilet paper.
My dad went to Disney World ONE time, and a comment of his has been trapped in my brain ever since. He went to the bathroom, and when he came back out, he said, “That right there is what you call ‘John Wayne toilet paper.’ It’s rough, tough, and doesn’t take 💩 off NOBODY.”
Toilet Paper
Yeah. Precisely. This post is about the epidemic of John Wayne toilet paper that’s running RAMPANT at Disney World. Like, this is a luxury theme park. Why are we using ONE PLY?! Actually, scratch that. This is more like half-ply. Quarter-ply.
Toilet paper
It has gotten to the point where some of our team members have contemplated shoving rolls of their own toilet paper into their park bags.
Fort Wilderness
This might be a bit better if the bathrooms at the resorts, especially the DELUXE RESORTS, had better toilet paper. They don’t. The John Wayne toilet paper haunts even the $1,500-per-night hotel rooms.
Toilet Paper
Anyway, nothing is more uncomfortable than toilet paper that doesn’t do its job. We know we’re not the only ones thinking this, so we’re opening this conversation. And hopefully, Disney will hear our pleas. Please, Disney. We don’t want John Wayne. We want plush. Luxurious. Quilted. Two ply. Until then, though, there are some alternatives, we suppose…
Bathroom sign
You could always do what we do and bring your own toilet paper to the parks. I mean, if your bag were to get searched at security that could make for an interesting conversation. BUT those security guards will probably secretly applaud you for it because Cast Member TP isn’t any better.
Yep. I was a Disney World Cast Member. Read about my time as a Haunted Mansion maid here!
For a less awkward situation though, just bring some baby wipes. Flushable is best! Of course, you could take the environmentally-friendly route and gather some leaves outside. They’d probably work better than the John Wayne toilet paper. Grab a few leaves over on Tom Sawyer Island, shove them in your pocket for later, and you’re golden.
Tom Sawyer Island
You could always just drip dry. After all, Disney World bathrooms are the best form of escapism. Drip drying is the best way to do that. Ahhh… peace and quiet. Until someone’s toddler is peeking in at you. ANYWAY. That’s enough bathroom talk from me. We’ll continue hoping and praying for better TP. In the meantime, be sure to follow along for more Disney news so that you never miss a thing!
The Disney World hotel that’s FINALLY taking our poop anxiety into consideration
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We started bringing our own a few trips ago, usually just for the hotel. Most of the time, we don’t take a roll to the parks, but we do frequently carry flushable wipes. Depending on what you have to take care of, no, you definitely can’t count on standard stock in the rest rooms…
Genius and hysterical article!! Yes, our family takes our own TP to the park and especially the resorts! We pay ridiculous prices for the resorts ( I’m looking at you, Wilderness Cabins) and yet it’s the worst TP. Crazy!
Your article is so hilarious!! We are at WDW this week and can totally relate to what you said! Please Disney, get better TP!
If there is any chance Disney can get over on its guest, it will!
Actually, “flushable” is NOT a good choice at all. Toilet paper breaks down a on the way to the sewage treatment plant. “Flushable” wipes don’t. They end clogging pipes and pumps, causing problems and often result in sewage back-ups. Yuck! If you must use those wipes, DON’T flush them – throw them in the trash.
We’ve been taking our own rolls of 3 ply toilet paper for about 8 years now, and I keep flushable wipes with me when I go to the parks. I had colorectal cancer 9 years ago and had radiation, so I’m super sensitive down there!
True and for many years true in the parks and especially troublesome in a warm bathroom when you are sweaty!
It may be better for the plumbing system or environment but backfires when a guest must use triple or quadruple the length a person would normally take from the roll. The stall visit takes longer and is messier even with just the scattered torn bits of paper. (In my fairly recent experience, though, there’s good TP in the bathrooms at the Grand Floridian (off the lobby upstairs and down)). Where does a guest go to tell WDW about this? I hope your articles reaches someone that can affect change in the parks.
And like store-bought—it’s as narrow as an arrow! Pretty soon we’ll get a roll of gauze bandage hanging there.