Not Even the TRAINS Are Safe in EPCOT’s Tiny Train Town

Have you ever visited Disney World’s tiny train town?

Let’s go to the village!

As the self-proclaimed mayor of the little village in EPCOT, I spend quite a bit of time there, and I’m here to tell you that those tiny residents are UNRULY. In the past few months, I’ve seen them get into all kinds of mischief and nonsense, and they don’t seem to be stopping anytime soon! Let’s dive in and see what they were up to during my last visit.

First, I stopped by the observation tower where little Suzie likes to hang out with her teddy bear. If you recall, we got her some security officers after a few mischievous residents started vandalizing the building and removing the guardrails. One of those officers has since adopted Suzie, but he had to abandon his post this week to chase down the delinquents who removed yet ANOTHER guardrail from the building. Do they not care about the safety of small children?!

What’s going on, Suzie?!

And speaking of things that were missing — we have a missing persons report! A pair of siblings set out on a hike into the rocky regions of the village a few months ago, but now, only one of them has returned with their pet goats. We’re sending search and rescue out shortly!

What’s going on?

In other news, the dastardly door thief has returned to the village! This person’s main objective seems to be to steal the front doors from everyone’s houses. So here’s your town safety reminder to keep your door locked at all times, and maybe install some security cameras around your property. We’ll catch this fiend soon enough!

THE DOOR THIEF

Finally, I have to issue a report about an issue I’ve found with our public transportation system. Some of the town’s vandals and criminals seem to be using the trains as a clandestine meeting place to discuss their business. If you encounter any such meeting during your daily commute, please report it to the train’s security team at once!

Who’s on the train?

I’m keeping a close eye on the crime in this town and we’re hoping to snuff it out before the holiday season — it’s hard to be holly jolly when you’re worried about someone stealing your front door! Stay tuned to DFB for more updates and news from the tiny train town.

The anarchy within is mostly created by natural occurrences, like giant squirrels, wind, rain, and relatively godzilla-sized lizards who frequent the town; but we find it fun and entertaining to make up fictional stories about what COULD be happening. We are grateful to the folks who create and maintain this Tiny Train Town for Disney World, as it’s one of our favorite parts of EPCOT and always has been.

Click Here to See Another Update From the Village!

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Have you ever visited the tiny train town? Tell us in the comments!