Here’s a little secret you might not know about us: we LOVE the Muppets.

No, seriously, we’re very passionate about the Muppets, and you’d be surprised at how many times we chat about them when we get the chance. So you can understand that like many other Disney World fans, we’re a little sad to say goodbye to Muppets Courtyard and Muppet*Vision 3D, which will be going away to make way for a new Monsters, Inc. land in Hollywood Studios. But we ARE getting a Muppets-themed version of Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster, and let’s just say the DFB team…well, we have ideas about it!

So the team got together to have a serious discussion about things the new version of Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster needs to have. For the record, Disney, you can can call us at ANY TIME…

Music

So the ride is themed around music, so some classic Muppets songs need to get faster more rock ‘n’ roll versions. We’re talking about all the classics like “Man or Muppet,” “Life’s A Happy Song,” “Mah Na Mah Na” (okay, no idea what a rock version of that song would be like, but it would be AWESOME), and — of course — “Rainbow Connection.”

In fact, we think “Rainbow Connection” should be the ride’s closing song and then you just cruise into a rainbow-themed area at the end.

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Statler and Waldorf

You can’t have a Muppets-themed ANYTHING without Team Heckler, aka Statler and Waldorf. They need to be SOMEWHERE on the ride, insulting us in their unique grumpy way. You can’t have the Muppets without these two.

Maybe at the beginning when you’re getting on the ride, they’re giving us a nice heckling, reminiscent of the beginning of Muppet*Vision 3D.

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Gonzo

Another thing that we think MUST happen is at the beginning of the ride. Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster has a launch that takes you from 0 to 57 mph in a little over 2 seconds. So this would be a perfect theming of that launch: Gonzo and his cannon. Yes, we want the launch to be Gonzo shooting us out of his cannon, and then we go flying over a wonderland of Muppets fun.

We told you we had ideas. This could also be fun if Statler and Waldorf were there at the beginning heckling Gonzo about his big idea to put us in the cannon.

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Cameos

The Muppets TV shows and movies were always known for celebrity cameos, and we think this ride should be no different. Obviously, Jason Segal HAS to pop in to say hello, but we’re also imagining rock stars and other pop culture icons having small roles throughout the ride. Maybe even make it to where these can be changed out on a regular basis to keep the ride fresh.

We also need cameos from Muppet*Vision 3D like Bean Bunny and Waldo C. Graphic.

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Aerosmith Cover

It’s almost like tradition that when Disney re-themes a ride, there are still a few Easter eggs for the ride it replaced. Since The Muppets will be replacing Aerosmith on Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster, we MUST have an Electric Mayhem cover of an Aerosmith song. 

Honestly, we feel like this should be “Sweet Emotion,” but honestly, Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem would rock ANY Aerosmith song from the previous ride.

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Fully immersive queue

We want everything The Muppets have to give when we step in line for the new version of Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster. That means we need to see a fully immersive queue that literally walks us into the world of the Muppets. We’re talking cool Muppet characters and things to interact with and more.

Even better? Rowlf could totally be in the queue at his piano interacting with everyone. That would be one line we’d always want to wait in.

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Safety Instructions

So this IS a roller coaster, so safety instructions are a must — but these safety instructions have to be given by Sam the Eagle — we will not accept anyone else in that role.

We are already imagining Sam telling us to keep our hands and feet inside the ride vehicle at all times — you can just HEAR it, can’t you?

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A good gift shop

Back in the old days (yes, our backs are hurting us even as we say that), there USED to be a decent gift shop in Muppets Courtyard. And, well, the Muppets Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster needs a good gift shop. We’re not talking about a shop that has just a few items that we can find online. No, we want an ALL OUT Muppets-themed shop with merchandise we’ve never seen before.

As a matter of fact, we also want a Build-A-Bear kind of situation where we can make our own Muppet (apparently, FAO Schwartz once had something like this, so we know it’s possible). Disney, make it happen!

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A Muppets Makeover for KRNR

You know the KRNR cart that sells some snacks and drinks? Okay, get rid of the current setup and turn it into the Electric Mayhem’s iconic bus. Then smell Muppets-themed snacks and drinks from that, and Disney, we SWEAR, you’ll be rolling in money.

While we’re at it, we wouldn’t mind if Disney just Muppetized that entire part of Hollywood Studios.

Re-theming the entire area

If we’re giving up Muppets Courtyard, give us a NEW re-themed Muppets area in the park and make it GOOD. We’re talking about everything around Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster having a Muppets theme.

We also think a restaurant owned by Swedish Chef needs to go in this area (and, hey, if he’s got a recipe for those IKEA Swedish meatballs, we’re in).

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So what do you think? What MUST be on the new Muppets-themed Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster? Let us know in the comments!